The Power of Saying ‘No’: Protecting Your Energy

Do you ever have challenges with saying “No” when someone asks you for help or asks you to do something? I have had many nurse friends that struggled with this especially when they are asked by management to work extra shifts, come in early or stay late. Instead of saying no, they agree to it and quickly become burned out.  I’m not saying there is something wrong if you agree to help , but if you agree to something at the cost of your mental and physical health then healthy boundaries are not established.

There is power in saying “No”. Saying “No” is the first step and a self-care strategy to protect your mental, emotional, and physical energy. It is an empowering strategy to help you maintain your well-being. 

1. The Importance of Protecting Your Energy: Why Energy Protection Matters

As Nurses we are constantly giving and caring for our patients at work and to others in our personal lives at the expense of our own needs. When we don’t set boundaries we can quickly become burned out and exhausted. There is a quote that describes the importance of setting boundaries, “ You can’t pour from an empty cup”. This is one of my favorite quotes and I think of it often when I feel drained but I want to keep pushing through. I remind myself that I need to take care of myself, get refilled and then I can continue on. 

2. Why It’s Hard to Say ‘No’

There are a few reasons why setting boundaries is a challenge. Let’s  look at a few of the most common reasons. 

• People-Pleasing Tendencies:

  • As nurses we are often naturally compassionate and driven to help others, making it difficult to turn down requests.

  • The fear of disappointing others or being perceived as selfish can prevent saying "no." 

• Fear of Missing Out (FOMO):

  • Nurses may feel they’ll miss out on opportunities, experiences, or growth by saying no, especially at work. We have all probably worked on a job where the person that does the most is highly praised and given more responsibilities such as precepting, charge roles etc. There is nothing wrong with wanting to go above and beyond but it’s also okay if you are not interested in doing that. It does not make you “less than” your co-workers and it is not a sign of weakness. 

• Guilt and Self-Doubt:

  • Feeling guilty for setting boundaries or worrying that saying no will disappoint others. I think we have all struggled with this at some point but you should never feel guilty about choosing yourself first especially when you are mentally and physically exhausted. 

    
    

4. Practical Ways to Say ‘No’

• Set Clear Boundaries:

  • Establish boundaries at work (e.g., limiting overtime or saying no to extra shifts when feeling overwhelmed).Communicate boundaries respectfully but firmly. Let them know what you are able to do and if they continue to ask questions or try to pressure you, reiterate what you are able to do. 

• Use Simple, Polite Responses:

  • Offer clear, polite responses like, "I’m unable to commit right now" or "I am unable to do that, I have something going on that day". One way to set boundaries but also offer alternatives is to say“ I am not available that day , but I am available on this day”.

  • One way to prepare yourself to set boundaries in conversations is to practice and visualize yourself saying no in a way that feels authentic and without guilt.

• Know Your Limits:

  • Be aware of your physical and emotional limits so you can say no proactively. Becoming aware of your limits will take practice and it might take a few times before you get it right. You may need to regularly assess your energy levels and ask yourself if taking on something new will align with your well-being.

    
    

5. How to Overcome Guilt and Fear When Saying ‘No’

• Reframe the Guilt:

  • Remind yourself that saying no is a healthy form of self-care and a necessary step to avoid burnout.

  • Understand that by protecting your energy, you’re able to be more present and effective in both your professional and personal life.

• Practice Self-Compassion:

  • Be kind to yourself. Realize that you are not responsible for solving everyone else’s problems.

  • Practice self-compassion as a way to ease the discomfort of setting boundaries.

• Seek Support:

  • Surround yourself with a support network who respect your boundaries and who understand the importance of self-care.

  • Share your self-care journey with others to normalize saying no and creating boundaries.

6. Integrating ‘No’ into Your Self-Care Routine

• Plan Regular Rest Days:

  • Schedule time for yourself where the answer is always "no" to work, social commitments, or any other obligations.

  • Use this time for relaxation, hobbies, or simply resting.

• Use ‘No’ as a Tool for Prioritization:

  • Saying no allows you to prioritize what is truly important and fulfilling in your life.

  • Focus on activities that align with your values and long-term goals.

Learning to say “no” is not about being selfish—it’s a from of self-respect so you can show up fully in the areas of your life that matter most. As nurses, we give so much of ourselves to others, and without boundaries, burnout can sneak in quickly. Saying no is an essential act of self-care and personal growth that safeguards your mental, physical, and emotional well-being.

If you’re just starting this journey, begin small. Practice setting boundaries in one area of your life and gradually build confidence. Reframe the guilt that often comes with saying no—remember that your self-worth is not tied to how much you do for others. You are enough, and prioritizing yourself makes you a stronger, healthier nurse and person.

Have you struggled with saying no in your nursing career or personal life? What strategies have helped you set healthier boundaries? Share your experiences or tips in the comments to support other nurses who may be on the same journey.